They are forever free who renounce all selfish desire
and break away from the ego-cage of “I’, “me”, and
“mine” to be united with the Lord.
The Bhagavad Gita – Translated by Eknath Easwaran
Control of consciousness is not easily accomplished, if it were we
would have a world of peace and plenty. Instead it takes great
effort to navigate through our own thoughts, filtering them and
learning to listen to constructive rather than destructive guidance.
Many would ask - how I am to know if I am listening to my
ego or my divine guidance when my head is filled with an endless
loop of confusion? I would suggest writing down what you are
thinking and you will know in short order who is talking. The domain
of the ego is the missteps and sins of the past and the fears and
potential pitfalls of the future, or surprisingly at times, the
positive future possibilities if only we are able to make a few
major adjustments now.
By recording the endless loop of advice you will become aware
of a neurotic stream of consciousness working both positive and
negative reinforcement to mold your behavior. Notice the ego does
not function well when you start to meditate and practice
mindfulness and establish yourself in the present.
I find myself most vulnerable to ego control and impact when I
am tired, frustrated, and/or disappointed with my life or when my
defenses are not well fortified such as when waking up in the
morning. I often wake up to a series of major issues in my life
that my ego feels I have not properly addressed or attended to
along with a list of potential problems for the day.
In the past I have gotten caught up answering the what if questions
of my early morning interrogator, now instead I usually Golden Key
each asking for God to handle, focus on my breathing, and center
my thinking on positive aspects on my life. When not successful
I get up and start my day.
One such morning, Tuesday February 24, 2009 when I had
obviously not been successful with managing my ego, I was offered
the following meditation guidance during my morning commute on
the train to assist me with regaining my balance.
Where Are You?
You are fighting a war with your negative mind centered
in the ego. You are back again rethinking, judging,
determining, and feeding perceptions and the pain-body.
You are in a pit and you need to mentally climb out and
find hope and enthusiasm.
If you are angry – scream. If you are sad then cry.
If you are confused seek clarity. You are no longer on
the path – you are filling up with fear and self-criticism
and you must return to love and self-acceptance.
Go inside and try to understand the emotions that
are leading you in this direction. Ask what it is that you
need, what is it that you want. Try to rest for with rest
comes strength. Be gentle with yourself and loving.
You do not need to meet others expectations – stop
trying to please and instead seek your own pleasure –
your own needs and wants. Rest and reflect. There is
no need for perfection. Accept the flow of energy and
look for enthusiasm. Move out of depression and into
the joy of enthusiasm
It is obvious that I was not doing well on this morning commute.
As you can see this is definitely advice from my spiritual mind,
divinely connected, not my ego. Notice the advice and its positive
and loving guidance trying to revive me and bring me back to life.
Meet Your Pain-Body
You will notice a reference to my “Pain-Body” – a term introduced
by Eckhart Tolle, spiritualist and best-selling author of The Power
Of Now and The New Earth who I have referenced in Major Post
Seven – New Thought Yesterday and Today regarding his ground
breaking internet sessions with Oprah Winfrey.
The pain-body is the collective manifestation of all the pain, misery,
and sorrow a person has ever gone through in their entire life.
Added to this is the inherited pain from a person’s culture and family.
Using the Toltec approach regarding the passing of the societal
dream we spoke of earlier, the Toltec’s would say that we have
learned to dream the dream of the collective pain of our people,
culture, religion, or nation.
Tolle goes on to explain that our pain-body's exist just beneath
the surface of our consciousness and when connected by the
loss of hope, depression, or an intense negative situation they
literally move in to take over our consciousness.
The personality of the pain-body is all negative, misery driven
and feeds on increasing its store of pain rather than lessening it.
The pain-body in control is often like the drunk in a bar looking for
a fight who seems to enjoy having the life kicked out of them.
In fact pain-bodies are like pain vampires who thrive on more pain -
gaining energy from destruction and as a result become stronger.
The amount of pain you are carrying depends on the amount of
pain you have been subjected to. Tolle says that when our
wonderful lover turns mean and cruel for no reason we are
meeting their pain-body.
Having survived a difficult childhood I am extra cautious when my
pain-body surfaces and have been able to push it back down with
a good nights sleep. Ann says my entire facial expression changes,
my brow furrows; my smile disappears as all the world becomes
extremely negative and hopeless for me. Although I know when
I have slipped into my pain-body it takes focused positive mental
effort to get out. Ann and I can recognize each other’s pain-body
and when they surface we will cautiously tell the other that they
have slipped into their pain-body.
I believe those who are clinically depressed or self-destructive have
been captured by their pain-body and cannot get out until it is too
late, when the crime or life destruction has taken place. I can only
imagine the amount of crime that is the direct responsibility of this
phenomenon with the Defense Attorney making a point that the
defendant was not himself or herself when committing the act.
Collectively whole nations have slipped into their collective
pain-body and like Nazi Germany have used it to create hell on
earth. I implore you to get to know your pain-body and do everything
possible to keep it in check and diffuse it in your life.
To mange my pain-body I use the releasing technique I discussed
on my early posts outlined in the The Sedona Method by Hale
Dwoskin. It is an excellent method for releasing your pain-body
or any unwanted emotion or feeling on a daily basis or when you
realize you are being impacted.
I also strongly encourage you to read Eckhart Tolle’s excellent
handling of this pain-body concept in his books The Power
Of Now and The New Earth.
Here is my poetic interpretation of my pain-body, which, I think
brings home the point and offers an approach for releasing it
through positive thought and love.
My Pain-Body
I struggle with the body of pain, the
memories of agony, anxiety, grief,
fear and the cries of a lost child.
This pain-body is enormous -
built limb by limb, trauma by trauma,
insult by insult
into a sculpture of wailing moments,
experienced not forgotten –
alive and hungry for more.
I have pretended that the pain-body
does not exist, worked my
consciousness around it,
carried out the tasks of life
while handling it
like an overstuffed trunk.
The pain-body has never gone away –
it inflicts each breath
and like a parasite sucks joy and
enthusiasm from all life.
All else is crowed into the corner
while the pain-body expands –
day in day out –
it deflates the consciousness,
distorts, warps - each moment
demanding – this tapeworm
grows and feeds on the soul.
It is time to deflate this illusion of
past memories – step behind
the Wizard of Oz Pain-Body and
let my consciousness take charge –
comfort the lost boy –
and release this pain.
How do I proceed? Moving into the pain
only feeds the beast.
I face the pain, accept it as a living
entity and focus on releasing it –
piece-by-piece – chunk-by-chunk.
I will make it malleable through focusing
on all things positive.
I will lead with love and
kindness and release.
Poem 12.14.2007